Monday, December 31, 2007

Introduction to Psychology

What psychology has in common with sciences?

1. Observe a phenomenon

2. Construct a hypothesis

3. Use the hypothesis 2 make predictions

4. Test the predictions with further observations

5. Modify your hypothesis to account 2 new facts

6. Repeat 3-5 till no discrepancies remain

· Psychology deals with people n behaviour. Psychology retests methods used 2 understand another.

· Data driven enterprise

· Predicting behaviour in general

· Psychology is not about finding what people r thinking but what the mind enables us 2 think

v Clinical psychologist treat depression, anxiety, schizophrenia

v Counselling psychologists treat marital and family dysfunctions

v School psychologists

v Industrial/organisational psychologists

v Forensic psychologists

v Human factors psychologists

v Research psychologists-conduct experiments and collect observations/on which therapy application r based

v Developmental psychologists

v Personality psychologists

v Social psychologists

v Health psychologists

v Peace psychologists

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Free lectures online

Learning is a life long goal, and if you don't care anymore about marks you're on the right track. So outside of leave it up to MIT to put all their lectures online and provide a great source to education.

Teachers: Please follow the link and learn how to give interesting lectures. Its never to late for you either.

My personal favorite is of coarse psychology. (The prof is actually entertaining too)

Can anyone else provide any free sources of education?

Monday, December 10, 2007

What Does Your Relationship Really Mean to You?- meaning to the questions

The questions asked had a purpose:

Is your relationship worth saving?

~How long have you known him/her?

In order to truly understand someone, before diving into a relationship with them, it is necessary to have known them for a certain period of time. The longer your initial friendship lasted, the better the chances of understanding your partner when considering any form of commitment.

~After how long did you realize you wanted to be in a relationship with him/her?

Some say that love can be found at first sight. However, as we all know, it is simply an initial attraction, an unintentional but nevertheless response of the body and the mind to an interesting new person. However, it could not be said to be love, as love needs time to grow. For some, it takes years to develop such feelings, for other only months. However, the longer you know a person, the deeper that love will become, providing a good basis to keep a relationship.

~How long can you see yourself with your partner in the future?

Considering the future is quite important. Many think only of the present, but in order to maintain a happy and healthy relationship, you must be able to see yourself with your partner for years to come.

~What is the depth of your feelings? Can you honestly say it is love?

No one but you can be the judge of your own feelings.Are you struggling o keep hold of old emotions? if so, discard them.. you must keep the relationship alive, not the emotions you once possessed. The feelings should never have left if they were deep enough. If love truly existed, you need not worry. the relationship will survive. However, if there is no love, but simply lust between you two, beware, for the loss of such a relationship is inevitable.

~Are you more comfortable around your partner or your friends? what about your best friend(s)?

If you are more comfortable with friends, that is not a good sign. For a relationship to be healthy and survive the hardships in this world, your partner must have the closest connection with you, and thus be the one you are most comfortable around. Even your best friend would equal your partner, if not come second. Be careful in such relationships. Do not put your heart on the line when you cannot be yourself freely around the one you are with.

~Do you find your mind wandering when you're with your partner?

a wandering concentration is a bad sign in any relationship, signifying a loss of interest in the person you are or the person your partner is. when your concentration wanes, know that your relationship as dangerously close to an end, the initial spark and bond between the two of you having been lost.

~Does your partner find your body more stimulating than your character?

If it is your body which interests your partner, as opposed to your character and personality, it would be wise to leave before having your heart broken. On the other hand, if both are of interest to your partner, you can rest assured that your relationship has a good chance of surviving.

~Can you hold up a decent conversation without any sexual thought or action?

If sex is the only thought you have, if a decent conversation eludes you, and, in order to make up for a lack of conversation, you resort to physical actions, your relationship is teetering on the brink. BEWARE!

~Have your feelings mellowed to a point where you have to resort to "tricks" in order to keep your partner's attention on you?

If you have reached a point in your relationship, where the ``occasional trick to entice`` is no longer occasional, but has become a daily routine, interest has wavered and holding on could mean more heartache than is necessary.

~Do you think of what would be like together far ahead in the future?

If you can see marriage and children, that`s wonderful. But if you have restricted your thoughts to simply the next days, weeks, or months only, either you are afraid of commitment, or you simply cannot see your current partner in your life until death do you part. What could not be permanent is not worth much to hold onto.

~If you see a life, are you happy?

Your happiness is most important. If being with your partner resembles a cage or shackles, avoid it, leave it, and never look back. NOTHING is worth your continual sadness.

~At present, are you happy as you are with your partner without wanting any change?

If you constantly look at your partner and seriously consider changing him in this way or that, you have found Mr. Wrong and it`s no fun for either of you. Trust me, there is a Mr. Right out there for you. Don`t spend your time with the wrong person, it`s not worth it.

~What is your mood daily on average? How does it compare with that of previous relationships?

If your happy on a daily basis, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! make sure this is the case, that over 90% of your days you are happy, and you have found the right person.

~To what extent are you willing to go in order to save the relationship?

If your ready to spend an eternity fighting for your partner, you have my blessings :)

What Does Your Relationship Really Mean to You?

Have you ever wondered just how meaningful your current relationship is?

Strange as it seems, many people do not realize that the relationship they throw so much effort in to keep alive only drains their strength, leaving them too bitter in the end.

However, there are some telltale signs signifying that to keep the relationship alive would mean more emotional damage as well as an end to whatever friendship that could have been salvaged.

First answer all these questions before checking the meaning of each in a separate post.

~How long have you known him/her?
~After how long did you realize you wanted to be in a relationship with him/her?
~How long can you see yourself with your partner in the future?
~What is the depth of your feelings? Can you honestly say it is love?
~Are you more comfortable around your partner or your friends? what about your best friend(s)?
~Do you find your mind wandering when you're with your partner?
~Does your partner find your body more stimulating than your character?
~Can you hold up a decent conversation without any sexual thought or action?
~Have your feelings mellowed to a point where you have to resort to "tricks" in order to keep your partner's attention on you?
~Do you think of what would be like together far ahead in the future?
~If you see a life, are you happy?
~At present, are you happy as you are with your partner without wanting any change?
~What is your mood daily on average? How does it compare with that of previous relationships?
~To what extent are you willing to go in order to save the relationship?

How to you improve your life (Part 3 of 3)

Part 3 is a summary of part 1 and 2

Classical Conditioning

Operant Conditioning

Automatic Behaviour

Effortful Behaviour

Ivan Pavlov

B.F Skinner

Experiment: Bell and Dog

Experiment: Skinner's Box/Operant Chamber


Positive Reinforcement, Negative Reinforcement, Punishment

Association between stimuli and responses


Spontaneous recovery

  • Shaping/Successive Approximation
  • Imitation or Modelling

Generalization and Discrimination

Acquisition, Asymptote, Extinction

  • law of effect: Responses to stimuli that produce a satisfying or pleasant state of affairs in a particular situation are more likely to occur again in the situation.
  • Learning is any relatively permanent change in behaviour produced by an experience
  • Classical and Operant conditioning are two of several theories on learning which take the behaviourist approach.
  • Classical conditioning is an association of one event with another that results in a pattern of behaviour
  • Operant conditioning however, is “learning that takes place as a consequence of behaviour.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

IT pop culture - Caught On Video!

From the 70's to present day this is what has made this industry into what it is today. Here it is in a heart beat:

In the 70's the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, featuring HAL, captured on film what people were imagining the future to be like. All because a new invention was here that promised to greatly change how man viewed itself. The ending of the movie by the way sucked, but it was fitting. Soon after, everyone became suspicious and interested on what the new frontier awaits...Engage

Now finding ourselves in the 80's...It was the nerds from "Revenge of the Nerds" that captured everyone's heart, and fittingly the industry was all about Comp.Sci. developing raw unadulterated processing power! After all, who could not love the advent of the 007 style wrist watch calculator! The whiz kid had also been born in such movies as WarGames and the crap that was Tron. After watching the trailer to WarGames I'm reminded that somethings never change, like how even today kids are still trying to find sneaky ways to change their grades with a computer. Oh, and who can forget the downfall of IBM and...the rise of Apple? I guess Microsoft crashed the party and spiked the punch with its cheap beer called DOS...Engage(again, but with the next generation)

In the 90's the mystery began to fade, and the average family home begun to make their first purchase of a computer and a dot matrix printer. The early 90's was all about the transition to the next faze of computing. The graphical user interface. The Mac had started it all with the mouse and Mac OS, but its tight grip on its development process did not stand a chance at the market the PC was opening itself up to. The PC with MS DOS and Windows 3.1 in hand, was where the masses gathered. The masses liked its relatively low price at the time, and the commoditization that was occurring. I think the video that most represents what was happening in this era is a video called "Don't Copy That Floopy". Sneaker-net was alive and well. In the next part of the decade we'll see how we can thank the success of DOOM for it's influence.

In the mid-90's the 3D engine in graphic cards was beginning to change things. Up until now, I would like to remind the reader, the transition to a GUI had been natural. Everyone wanted it, and it just made sense. Even the best keyboard jockey's knew that a GUI would be nice every once in a while. Another transition that unfolded, started out in the form of Bulletin Board Services (BBS). BBS's popped up across the globe and allowed the local guy to create a central hub for all the people in their local area code to meet and chat over the computer using phone lines. Oh and let's not also forget the launch of the multi-million dollar ad campaign of Windows 95, and the rumoured multy million dollar licensing of the Rolling stones "Start Me Up" song. The Internet had also begun with companies like CompuServe and AOL offering access to email, or to things like Gopher and Archie and a lot of other crap that died or were transformed into the next generation of what they are today. HTTP.

In the late 90's everyone and his grand-daddy was getting into computers, or selling them. You didn't need to know a thing about it, or even have the heart or the willingness to learn it. That's because everyone was, quite appropriately, a N00b! It was like somebody just yelled out FREE BEER! FREE SEX! FREE ENTRANCE! from the VIP room at a club on a saturday night...Except it was UNLIMITED ACCESS! FREE PORN! FREE 3-MONTH MEMBERSHIP TO AOL! that could be heard from basements everywhere. Everyone was starting to get into it and the mysterious and localized BBS's transitioned into a series of tubes called the Information SuperHighway (later to be known plainly as the Internet). The iMac had resurrected Apple from the dead, and changed the boring beige boxes into colourful little guys, and then the colourful little guys all decided to dress up in black boxes from then on. The PC also moved from the basement to the living room. You also can't forget how the uber nerds from the 70's reappeared and were involved in the linux operating entrance into the commercial space. What I'm trying to point out is that everyone and I do mean everyone was getting drunk off of VC money.

CRASH!!!! The hang over. The party had ended by 2001, and who ever was left standing and sober ended up cleaning house. What we were left with was the Dude from Dell and the tag line that has stuck with the company since - "Dude your getting a DELL!" . With the Y2K bug squashed the Web caught on, and the masses agreed that the next little while would be shaped by the free flowing of music that Napster started providing, not to mention the wave of lawsuits. On top of that lets not forget to mention the lawsuits that came as a result of the gold rush for domain names.

It's now mid-2000 where we find ourselves. Computers today are being shaped more by lawyers involved with upholding frivolous intellectual property, than by computer scientists interested in the robust development of machines to aid humanity like in the past. Google however is an exception, and so is Linux. Google is a major innovator, but only Linux and its many flavours are the platform that is providing major innovation, because it is truly being shaped by what has been the driving force for the past 40 years: The user.

How to you improve your life (Part 2 of 3)

The second in a three part is about how we change our behaviour voluntarily. In psychology one method is called "Classical Conditioning" and the second is called "Operant Conditioning". The person to coin the phrase was B.F. Skinner. His experiments to prove operant conditioning occurs was done using what is called today the "skinner's box" or "Operant conditioning chamber".

It's operation is fairly simple. When the rat pulls the response lever, it is rewarded with a food reinforcement.

In this case the rat is getting positive reinforcement, which is to say. The response following the presentation of the stimuli is strengthened. We can also use negative reinforcement, which would be the reduction of an aversive stimulus to increase the behaviour; Like removing unwanted sound from a room to strengthen the subject's ability to focus on a subject. The opposite of reinforcement is punishment. Punishment decreases the behaviour after punishment is applied. Much like having your mark deducted on an assignment for being late.

Positive reinforcement, Negative reinfocment and punishment are all properties of Operant Conditioning.

The other important aspect of operant conditioning is the reward cycle. It can be either continuous or partial.

Continuous reinforcement schedule (CRF) would reward the desired response every time it occurs. Using the skinners box example, the rat would be rewarded with every pull of the level.

On the flip side of continuous reinforcement there is partial/intermittent reinforcement. There are four types of partial reinforcement. they are:

    • Fixed ratio (FR) - For every x amount of occurrences, reinforce the behaviour with a reward - Ex: FR5 = rat reinforced with food after each 5 bar-presses in a Skinner box.
    • Variable ratio (VR) - an unpredictable schedule for reward. The reward is delivered after a variable amount of responses - Ex: VR5 schedules deliver reinforcement after a random number of responses (based upon a predetermined average)
    • Fixed interval (FI) - FI15 = rat is reinforced for the first bar press after 15 seconds passes since the last reinforcement
    • Variable interval (VI) - VI5 - reinforcement is provided for the first response after an average of 5 seconds since the last reinforcement.

There is also a term to define a gradual shaping of a behaviour, that term is successive approximation. Its kind of like what "training" is for, if that training is supposed to mentally prepare you for something.

So the next time your learning something, ask yourself. Is it classical or operant conditioning? lol

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


As the holidays are approaching and the gift buying madness has begun a relatively few people out there are thinking the exact same thing I'm thinking. How do I NOT overspend my money? You'd think the answer is as easy as - DON'T OVERSPEND STUPID, but realistically it takes a certain mindset, a certain mental preparation, a certain, if you will, winning attitude, to succeed at not splurging the holidays away.

I'm going to outline how I think as I save thousands of dollars month over month and build a cash cushion. Hopefully you can take a bit of this and apply it to your life. As is the case normally, everyone must look at what they are capable of.

Really quick, here are 5 attributes about myself that keep me on track

  1. Be Aggressive - This has got to be the most important attribute to start with. That's because when you become aggressive there are a few things that automatically follow. For one you begin to focus on ways to save, two you make it your priority, and three you ignore the immediate gratification that buying gives you, and you concentrate on your long term outlook.
  2. Be Alert - You have to be aware that on any day you can crack all of a sudden, and throw all your plans out the window, or delay it significantly just because you walked in on a "sale".
  3. Be Smart - Finding ways to cut expenses or ways to increase your income takes smarts. You'll also have to use those smarts to be creative and, as much as I hate to say it, "think outside the box". Face it your existing patterns are not sufficient, and finding great new way can only be done by one person. YOU.
  4. Be Eager - Every day when you begin to feel the pain of living without luxuries you will need an internal motivation. This is something that you need to create in yourself. A tip from me to you: Describe to me the events that took place in your life 3 days ago. Starting from the time you woke up to the time that you slept. I bet you have a vague memory of it, so use this lack of memory in your favour. The next time you need to spend your money, just think to yourself "its only for the short term. I can buy this later if I really need it, even if its on sale."
  5. Always Have A Purpose - This is probably the hardest one to get right. One of the most agreed upon first steps in doing anything is to create a goal, but I'm not here to repeat the same old advice, I'm here to tell you that you need to put a purpose to the goal. When you're making your goal don't just make up a random number like $10,000, instead tell yourself -

· "I am going to save $10,000 in case I get laid off from my job because I will want to cushion my fall when it occurs" or

· "I am going to reduce my student debt by $10,000 every 6 months, because I plan on getting into more debt with a new house"

Those are 5 quick tips to get mentally ready. HAPPY SAVINGS!

How to you improve your life (Part 1 of 3)

How do you improve your life? Ask a Buddhist and the answer will probably be through practice and experience. Ask your family doctor and the answer will probably be "eat healthy and excersice". Ask yourself and what do you say?

In the realm of psychology you can change yourself through "conditioning", and there are only two methods. The first being known as "classical conditioning",
and the second as "operant conditioning".

I'll start off with classical conditioning.

I wish there was something classical about classical conditioning, but there really isn't. It came about when a Russian psychologist, Ivan Pavlov, noticed that dogs salivate when they know they are going to eat. They don't call these guys geniuses for nothing. Unlike anyone else up to this time, Pavlov knew he was onto something. He knew that this behaviour can be an experiment. His experiment was really very simple. Train a dog to salivate when the dog hears a bell ring. Here's how he did it:

  1. Ring bell
  2. present food (dog eats)
  3. repeat cycle

As the dog begins to learn that bell=food he salivates more and more. Up to a certain degree. Here's how it looks on a graph

Psychologist love to make up words so there's also a few terms that I should explain.

  1. Neutral Stimulus (NS) - This is the bell at the beginning of the experiment. Its called Neutral stimulus because the bell on its own would not make the dog salivate, but its going to be used in the experiment.
  2. Unconditioned stimulus (US) and Unconditioned response (UR)- In other words this is a label that s ays "no training needed", and in this case the food is the US and the dog salivating when food is presented is the UR.
  3. Conditioned stimulus and Conditioned Response - The word conditioned here means "you're my bitch. Now do as I trained you". In this case, when the bell=salivation the bell becomes the CS, and the salivation as a result of the CS becomes the CR.

Of coarse the mind is not static, and therefore constantly changes so it should be no surprise to anyone that over time the CS can turn back into a NS. How? By ringing the bell without presenting food. Here's the graph again

and here's how most text books would present the information

In the first third of the graph, when the dog is being trained, it is called "Acquisition". When the level of training has reached a peak and levels off, like when the dog can't salivate any more then physically possible, it is called "Asymptote". When, in the third section it begins to unlearn the behaviour, it is called "extinction".

During the extinction phase it is possible to see a sudden reemergence of the learned behaviour, this is called "spontaneous recovery"...I told you these guys like making up words.

There's one more side effect of classical conditioning, and that's that the CS (the bell that makes the dog salivate) can evoke a similar response from similar stimuli....Basically a bell can be a door bell or a dinner bell or a cow bell (MORE COW BELL!) and the CR would be the same. This is called "generalization". If other stimuli like clapping for instance, is not a generalization of the CS then it is said that there is a "discrimination" between stimuli. Just replace the word "discrimination" with "difference", cause that's all this term means.

How does this apply to you?

Lets say that every time you see your bf/gf the first thing you do is kiss, and that makes you feel good.

What will happen is that if you do this enough times you will begin to feel good in anticipation of seeing him/her, but if you stop kissing when you see him or kissing him no longer feels good then you will not feel so good when you anticipate seeing him/her.

In other words your expectation automatically influence your emotions, and your learned behaviours are automatically acquired and extinct using classical conditioning, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Now that you know this, use this knowledge to uncondition yourself from bad habits and condition yourself into good ones.

Thanks for reading,
  1. digg it! if you like what you read
  2. Give examples of classical conditioning from your own life, please add them into the comments section, no matter how simple they are.
Look out for my next post which will be operant conditioning

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

new post?

dear you,

thank you for visiting this site again. In case you think Dr. Yorke or Dr. Yorkette have checked into a mental hospital, I am writing this letter to assure you of the opposite. Both are swell and relatively in a sane condition.

Dr. Yorkette is still promising to write Part 2 to the follow up on body languages, and Dr. Yorke promises to bring to you a topic on "mental conditioning" or "how memory works".

Stay tuned for a new post this week. Please post your comments and encouragements (yes, you can post anonymously).

Thank you,

Thursday, November 15, 2007

BODY LANGUAGE OF A WOMAN - the tale tale signs that she's interested in YOU!!

Meet a woman you like? Attracted to? Wonder how she feels? Is she interested? Flirtatious? Not interested? Disgusted?

DISCLAIMER: Not 100% true all the time, there will be times where these rules will not be fitting with the situation. Use your judgement wisely.

Your body speaks a language on its own. Without realizing the way you sit, how you place or move your fingers/hands, legs, and posture reveal volumes about you. More specifically, what you are feeling, thinking, and if you are aroused/interested in external stimuli (in this case men!) Most are not aware or attuned with how their body moves and what signal it omits to others. You want to be completely in control, aware of the movement and message you are sending, because men are quite quick on interpreting a woman’s body language. You must remember it only takes 30 seconds to read body language. One secret of body language is manipulating your body to give or hide signals you don’t want others to read. IE. Which messages you want ‘him’ to read and receive, giving you the upper hand and control. (Something we women love!)

This blog is about the signs women give off subconsciously without being aware their body is speaking volumes about their interest and sexual desire/intention.

Ever been to a bar, seen a hot girl, wondered – Is she flirting??
Women almost always give physical tips about their level of interest in men. You all know the most common body language gestures: Twirling hair, tossing hair and leg crossing, but I will discuss a few others.

Let’s begin with twirling hair. It is flirty, cute and depending on the eyes seductive, but it can also suggest nervousness. A lot of girls have long hair, it is very sensual and sexually appealing for men, because men don’t have long hair…AND it is a tease = covering the nape or breasts. Nevertheless, short hair is perceived as confident, strong, dominate and powerful! Now, let’s talk about colors!!! Different colors give off different vibes. I.e. red heads are perceived as fire-y, passionate, sexual. Brunettes are taken more seriously and seen as classy. Blondes, well we all know the answer to that… Blondes have more FUN: D
Hair tossing is another form toying, but it can mean she is nervous (fumbling with her fingers, to keep herself from looking nervous…) or she’s preening herself – drawing attention “LOOK AT MEE!!! – In a subtle way of course (i.e. showing of her sexy mane or a long sleek neck). Now, let’s move on to one of my favourite – Leg Crossing.

Ladies unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they are anxious, nervous or stimulated. When females do this, it means the person they are talking to gets their attention good or bad you will see later on. Leg crossing can be a nervous or a provocative gesture. It is a dead giveaway to the guy that she is deliberately trying to get his focus on her legs. This gives him enough power to take control, have the upper hand. But it can also turn him on so ultimately, taking away his power.
There are many styles to crossing legs.
- ankle cross
- knee cross
- figure four (ankle on opposite knee = mostly males do this)
- wrap around (whether using a chair leg, a shoe)

If you are on her left and she is sitting beside you, she will cross her right leg over – turning her body towards you, drawing attention to you.
If she is sitting in front of you, she will cross her legs directly forward with her toe pointed outward.
If she is sitting with her legs crossed around her ankles, she is being shy, yet conservative, meaning you have not yet grabbed her attention, she might be interested but isn’t stimulated.
If she is sitting with her legs apart, she is inviting you in (sexually she wants you)
If she is touching her legs, or her thighs she is trying to draw your attention those areas, because eyes will always follow movement.
If she has her legs crossed and her hands holding on to her legs... BEWARE she is warning you not to proceed. She is guarding her body (evidently her space)

IMPORTANT: Take note on where the toe is pointing, and how the shoe is sitting on the foot.
If she is facing you and she crosses her legs tow pointing towards you, that’s a good inclination she is interested in you.
If her shoe is coming off, or she is bouncing it, it’s a good indication she is aroused and sexually attracted to you.
If she is looking at you but her foot is pointing in a different direction, chances are you are not the target of her desire or interested.
If she is looking at you, her shoe is bouncing but her arms are crossed, or on her knees she is aggravated, frustrated, or just plain not interested... CAUTION... back off.

** A big key point ** whether you are a man or woman – the direction your foot is pointing always gives away who you are really interested in. So if you are talking to a bunch of girls and your face and posture is leaning to one girl but your feet to another, chances are you aren’t that interested in the one you are talking to.

Eyes are the # 1 contact two people connect through. Eyes already convey messages to others, messages ranging from curiosity to desire and fascination. I.e. When you interlock eyes, it gives off the meaning... YOU out of everyone in the room got my attention. YOU are the most fascinating person in this room. But it can also be too bold of a move. I.e. Some females might not like the frontal (facing you) bold eye contact, creates intimidation. Men might not like the too forward behaviour either – but that’s how you know they aren’t the right target for you.
There are different gazes females do.
- stare look away and stare again --- I’m interested come pursue me
- stare straight and directly without budging --- I’m bold and confident and I want you
- stare and look away --- I’m not interested in you

CHECKING out guys
- If she connects with your eyes (gaze) then looks at your feet slowly seductively moving up focusing on they hips, sex organs and again moving up to your head and back down to your eyes.. you can be sure she’s definitely interested in you – sexually or otherwise.
- If she connects with your gaze (eyes) and then looks up to your hair FIRST then slowly moving down to your feet, she’s not really impressed.
- If she looks at your eyes, then your lips – very simple - she wants to kiss you!

ARMS When a woman crosses her arms over her chest, it can telegraph the message that she's vulnerable and sensitive or even annoyed/frustrated. Furthermore, based on her facial structure she may like her privacy, space or she isn’t very confident, as she might like to come across. Much like legs, arm crossing shouts IM NOT INTERESTED to a guy. However, crossing arms also draws attention to breasts; it’s sexual and primitive, a gesture of sexual anticipation. Breasts – sex – men.
Now let’s discuss leaning - this ties into your posture and how a female leans towards a male. I.e. leaning across forward toward you (fellas), weather you are sitting or standing, shows interest and acceptance. CAUTION: Lean too much and it gives away too much information. Same with leaning away, it tells him you find him repulsive, so much so that you don’t want to be near him. NEVERTHELESS, on an odd occasion leaning away can mean SHE is SOO attracted to you that she has to turn away.

When we are aroused (males and females) we get excited and our lips and mouth get dry. That’s why we lick our lips. SO MEN take notice lip licking is a PLUS. It conveys the message very clearly, very sexy and overtly. It is a slow, sultry swipe along the tips of the lips with the tip of the tongue. Another example of this is when females put on lipstick, lip gloss or lick a Popsicle. This is also perceived as “lets go have sex” because of the suggested tongue - lick action. SO females use this with caution to not convey the wrong message.

------------- SEXUAL AROUSAL AT ITS PEAK is flared nostrils. Doesn’t matter male or female if the person’s nostrils are flaring it means he/she has the hots for you.

The problem with body language is, even though you might learn these key factors, you might get to caught up in it that you forget to enjoy the moment and be yourself. You see body language is a huge part of communication but so is dressing and the color chosen. The way you move or walk, all has big implication of how your body language is perceived.

Stay tuned for

----------- PART II DOES HE REALLY LIKE ME?? Male body language
----------- PART III Dating Body Langauge

Take Care,
Dr Yorkette

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dealing with Wanting What You Don't Have

"Mommy I want that! wah wah wahhhhh!"... It's hard for me to picture myself today using those exact words to demand something from my mom these days. Why? Because I found ways of achieving the same result faster and easier. I found it easier to skip the middle man, my mom, and buy straight from the supplier, which is the store selling stuff! But I don't like doing that either, because all I'm really doing is changing where my needs are acquired from; Instead of my mom, it's a store. How about I have someone to do it for me! I can call someone to take care of all the transactions and dirty work that I don't want to do, and I end up with only what I want...but no, that wouldn't work either because I am back to where I started from, except I have someone taking the role of my mom....hmmm better yet how about I just stop myself from wanting anything and free myself from the cost of my actions.

On second thought, I don't think that would be very sane of me...There must be a middle ground to all of this.

Wanting what you don't have can be understood in a variety of ways, and only in rightly understanding the root of the need can we decide on the best coarse of action. The countless actions one might take in making a decision can be simplified into two plain frameworks. The first is "to act" and the second, I'm sure you guess it by now, is "to not act".

The first framework "to act" can be expanded and understood as the effort made to acquire a need. During this action I would be cycling through a constant thought process to acquire and fulfill what I want, and then as what I want changes I repeat the cycle again. This cycle can become a problem if I let it become one, or it might not. For instance I might repetitively strive to reach a changing idea of perfection, or it could have a positive effect and I just might reach what I am really after and be truly happy.

Thoughts such as world domination come into mind or something like being the highest achiever in class, or how about what I want is some real dark chocolate instead of all the sugary stuff they pass around at Halloween. All of these things are things are what I want, and nothing is impossible...Not even real dark chocolate from Switzerland. What is important here is not what I want but the underlying need or motivation for all these wants, which is satisfaction.

On the other hand there is my second choice which is "to not act". The irony is that I would have to consciously make an effort to not act. In other words, I would have to restrain myself when I want something. I would have to become patient, and understanding and I would have to build a sense of contentment and humility. This can be very hard to do! Am I supposed to be happy with margarine when what I really want is butter? Or am I supposed to only be happy with dominating my immediate surrounding, instead of having the entire world in my hands?

What I believe to be is the correct answer to making a choice between "acting" and "not acting", first comes down to a difficult choice in correctly identifying what is right and what is wrong. Before I make this decision I should already know the consequences of my actions by asking myself how they affect me and others. This requires a great deal of foresight through a greater deal of knowledge, and unfortunately I don't have enough of either, nor will I ever posses the greatest of either. Since that is the reality of my dilemma I should also be prepared for my unseen errors and apologizing for them. Now that I understand that my choices result in unpredictable consequences, I should be thankful for what I have and move forward from here very carefully. This progress should lessen my emotions of greed or selfishness and that will stop me from the making the wrong choices as much as possible.

Easier said than done in the heat of the moment...I better practice.

Can anyone see how this can be applied to wanting someone?

Thanks for reading,

By the way I read all your comments, even if they are misspelled, and I am influenced by them to decide on what to post next, so keep them coming.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

3 Easy Steps to Get The Guy You Want

Relatively speaking getting a guy is easy, and this should be easy, but lets go through how to get the guy you want because it's always a fun topic to talk about

1) Are You His Type
Any average guy knows his likes and dislikes, and what he's looking for and not looking for, are all one and the same. That's why any girl that believes that all guys want her is just plain egotistical. All it takes is some alcohol, or a lack of options for him to decide "I'm going to talk to her" or whatever. So this is not the problem. Repeat after me: This is not a problem.

2) Are You Approachable
Do you have the basic down? Are you going out? No? Stop reading this and get off the computer and go to the mall or whatever.

Lets say for argument sake that you're not a slut. Now I know that you know this already. I assume it's common knowledge, but if you want the quick and cheap answer, the answer is easy. Drink up. Drink to the point that you don't reject anyone, because most girls when they complain about not meeting the right guy it's because they have so much baggage from previous relationships that they build up a wall to protect themselves from every guy...including the right one.

You don't believe me? Ask the majority of wives out there and they'll tell you that they weren't interested in their husband the first time he approached them. Convinced yet? I didn't think so. So I'll tell you the hard way. The hard way takes a lot of courage and it involves that you look at your own self and say...I'm taking this "I'm worth it" thing a little too far, I should give him a chance. No, I'm not saying go out and wear that push up bra and hooker boots with a short skirt and open your legs to everyone for a chance to meet Mr. Right. What I am saying is that you don't know what you want as much as you think you do. What you should do is to get to know a lot more guys without assuming that there is any pressure of sex, and if there is then say 'good bye'.

3) Reevaluate Your Needs
I think its time for an exercise. READY? Here it is.

Write down the top 5 things that you are looking for in a man.
*give yourself a minute to think about it*

  • Fun
  • Easy going
  • Someone I get along with
don't count as real answers by the way.
All done? Good. I'm sure #1 was easy and #2 was almost as easy, and you probably got as far as #3 but gave up at #4 and #5. Now time for the exercise. Scratch off #1 from the list...What do you have left? What you have left is nothing worth your time. My point? When looking for a guy, look for someone that satisfies your #1 need, and leave the rest to dating and send me an email with a picture of you and your next bf.

Thanks for reading,

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

What do girls really mean when they say...


and although this is a generalization, that means its true in most cases.

Guys generally don't know what a girl is thinking, especially the younger guys. So here's a couple of easy tips for the younger generations.

What do girls really mean when they say...
Yes means maybe. You read that right. Guys might find this hard to believe but a "Yes" to any answer might as well mean "I am feeling like saying Yes at the moment". When the time comes to act, you'll see that their Yes really doesn't mean Yes at all, and what you end up doing is trying to convince them all over again that what they said yes to in the first place is actually worth saying Yes to. For example:
guy: "Hi, do you like pancakes?"
girl: "yes, they are so yummy they are my favorite"
guy: "how about we meet for pancakes tomorrow"
girl: "that sounds like fun! call me tomorrow"
(guy calls)
guy: "hi, hungry for some pancakes?"
girl: "hi, sorry my sister's friend came over and told me that she needs me at her house in an hour to bake a cake with her for a baby shower next weekend, maybe next time"

What do girls really mean when they say...
ahhh the maybe, my favourite. All you have to do is replace the word maybe with the word no. Its that straight forward. Thats right "maybe" equals "no". It my favourite because at the point the girl says maybe, she is trying very hard not to come off as a bad person. Social consequences play a big role here. She is in other words being polite. Other forms of maybe are: "I'll think about it", "we'll see what happens", "if i'm not busy", etc. (the more "maybe's" or similar terms is said the stronger the No. For example:
girl: "hey whats up"
guy: "not much you?"
girl: "oh not much the usual"
guy: "cool, are you going to class?"
girl: "maybe"
guy: "ya i know how you feel, i was thinking of skipping class too. want to meet at 3?"
girl: "maybe, we'll see what happens, i might have my mom picking me up early"
guy: "your mom? how about i drive you?"
girl: "no, thats ok, but thanks for the offer"

What do girls really mean when they say...
No = convince me
If you don't know it by now everyone loves a challenge, so it's not hard to figure out that what in fact is being said is "convince me that you are worth me changing my mind". Go figure, but its actually easy to understand why. In there infinite wisdom, girls need a compelling reason to act on a Yes, because when they do, they have made themselves vulnerable to all the bad emotional feelings that they don't want to feel. For example:
guy: "you won't believe what i found in the glove compartment of my car this morning!"
girl: "what?!?"
guy: "you wouldn't believe it if i told you...
girl: "what? tell me!"
guy: "i'm telling you you won't belive me! stop bugging me about it :P hehe. Lets just say i found a gift certificate for $200"
girl: "ya right, you found $200!"
guy: "ya its hard to believe, but i'm so lucky! i bought this car last weekend off of some rich dude that was buying a fun BMW"
girl: "oh my gosh I would go straight to the mall and spend that money all on shoes!!"
guy: "THAT'S A GREAT IDEA...quick! Come with me to the mall and lets spend it, other wise I got to go...I'll give you 5 seconds to decide...5..4,3"
girl: "ok lets go! i haven't been to the mall in a while"

So what should you have taken from this post? No, its not that malls and girls go together like stick and a puck, or even that girls emotions decide how they behave. What you should take from this is: Action speaks louder than words. (so digg it!)

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Want & Sex

SERIES 1 : Chapter 1 : Want & Sex

Do YOU know what it really means to WANT something or someone? According to Wikipedia --- "A want is something desired, distinct from a need which is something that is necessary. It's said that we have unlimited wants, but limited supplied resources. Thus, we can't have everything we want and must look for the best alternatives. This may be distressing to some people and may lead to depression which can be avoided if other people can give them their original wants so long as it's not a great burden on others. People usually carry the tendency to have a strong desire to obtain something. This desire, known as "want" has been established since the beginning of life. There is an often stated quote, "You always want what you can't have." It is meaning that after we have something, it is no longer a want, so we move onto the next 'want' on our list.

In the next series of journal entries I’m going to discuss "What Women Really Want" as well, what we really mean when say or do something. I have learned through social psychology, observation, male - female interaction just how diverse the mind works in both sexes. The first step is to understand that chemically men and women are built differently. Difference in hormones and Ph levels cause both genders to behave and think distinctively.
For example, a chocolate cake is placed on a table for observation. A man and a woman will both stare at the cake, but the information absorbed from both genders will be completely different. Even though they are both looking at the same cake, individually, their mind will produce different sensory responses to the visual (sight), olfactory (smell), salivary (taste) and sex glands. Chocolate is considered a psychoactive food associated to sex. I will discuss more in a later series.

My next series will be called, "What Is She Really Thinking..." It will be based on how women dress and where they choose to go and finally, what they are thinking when starring at you.
The signs are all there…all you have to do is pay attention to her body language, her articulation and the subtle hints that escape her mouth.

Women need communication to express their problems, men prefer resistance. Here is a perfect example: A study done by James Erskine, a psychologist, asked 134 undergraduates to either suppress or express their thoughts about eating chocolate for five minutes, then to help themselves to chocolates. The results are quite fascinating, because female subjects who thought about snacking ate five chocolates, but those who suppressed those thoughts ate eight chocolates. Can you guess the results for the males? Interestingly, male subjects ate more chocolates when told to express their thoughts about chocolate. I will discuss this in copious later on amongst conversational differences of sexes. Now imagine all the arguments this might have saved if women knew this about men!!

I'm going on a tangent, now replace chocolate with sex and summerize the results. Females are just as bad if not worse in this category as males are. The only difference because of social reasons females are not suppose to discuss sex... its creates the big "SLUT" factor to pop up. Read the next chapter, you might realise the hints women throw out about sex and attraction.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in my series ---- WHAT IS SHE REALLY THINKING!

Yours Truly,

Dr Yorkette

Thursday, October 25, 2007

11 days with no sleep...What happens?

Here's a one for the books. Apparently some crazy student in late 1963 (from December 28, 1963 to January 8, 1964) stayed awake for 11 days. Read what happens to him, and a similar experiment in russia with puppies.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Acceptance Letter

Here is something personal while I work on a much more analytical post: My acceptance letter to York University. Its something that I can look back to and reflect on my state of mind at the time, and the progression I've made from that point. So here it is:


To Whom It May Concern,

For the past several years, I have pursued my short term career goal of becoming a network administrator in the field of Information Technology. I have been successful in attaining my goal, and in the process have been constantly challenged to learn and develop my skills in the IT industry. In order to keep up to date in this evolving field, I read IT news daily, and engage in IT industry certificates to compliment my work experience. I continually dabble in technology that may or may not be required to continue my success. My life, as you can imagine, is surrounded with things that beep, blink and break.

Thus far, I feel that I have been successful in the IT industry. However, at this point in my life, I would like to expand my knowledge by improving my understanding of the human mind, a subject that I find fascinating. The undergraduate program in psychology, I believe, would help me reach a new level of understanding and patience with people and with organizations. I would like to gain deeper knowledge not only into organizational behaviour, but the field of psychology as a whole. For my personal enjoyment, I have read the autobiography of Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections, and have recently been reading Carl Jung’s Man and His Symbols. This has further contributed to my interest in pursuing studies in psychology.

In my current field, I am constantly surrounded by people and have to exercise patience and understanding to assist them with challenges they face with new technologies on a daily basis. As a result of my work experience, I have learned to work well under pressure and to excel in highly demanding situations. Great organizational and problem solving skills have been significant in my continued success. These skills that I’ve developed are transferable to an academic environment and therefore, feel capable of handling potential challenges presented during my studies at York.

I have carefully evaluated my current position, and at the moment my life has stabilized. As a result, I feel it is the right time to further develop my individual growth in the understanding of the human mind by pursuing a bachelor in psychology, and quite possibly graduate studies in this field in the future.

I sincerely hope that you will accept my request,


Sunday, October 21, 2007


You ever believe there are vibrations that pull you towards some things and away from others? Whether it's people or places there are always feelings and intuition that play a hand in it. Humanity is so easy to read. In many case females and males are read in the same light.

Looking at females.. we just want to be loved, accepted and taken care of - its funny the same thing could be said about men. But --- yes there is always a why-----why do we shield ourselves? Why do we protect ourselves from that very thing?? I often wonder what would happen if we all were open and honest about our feelings and emotions.... my guess a lot of heartache would be eliminated....I was sitting at a lounge studying today for my sensation course and there were these 2 girls talking about the men in their life. Funny both wanted to be in a relationship and were in the courting stages. Both wondered if their guys liked them and how to figure them out. How to read their signs and if they were being to pushy or to "attached" as one called it.

I stopped studying at this point just listening and taking notes on their rational...and mind set. They were discussing body language and how the men were talkin to them. It occured to me, what is obvious to a female isnt obvious to a male. What a female knows a male needs to hear and not guess.

However it is the opposite for the female. The slightest gesture, slightest word and even the slightest movement such as a wink is enough to push the girl into thinkin..."Ooohh i think he likes meeee..." There is a game that we as a society play.. like a cat and mouse game. Who's gonna be the mouse and who's gonna be the cat? Who will make the first move? Who will make the first call -- are we all just scared? or do we like the chase? the thrill of being chased.. seduced,persued-- courted?? It is rather interesting how a single word can cause chaos .. ie. I Miss You.. the world miss can have tons of implications. it can cause insecurity in a female.. but it can cause caution in a male.. Studying psychology.. women do overreact in some cases.. they may think there is something there when there really isnt.. or they may act too fast. However men, they become shy and subtle -- its as if they dont want to scare of their "prey". All this leads back to the cat and mouse game... why cant we all just be straightfoward and honest.. if you like someone...SAY IT -- I like you, believe me being rejeccted isnt as bad as self doubt and worrying and becoming frustrated over the situation.

These females were soo worried if they were sexy and attractive to their mates, they were worried if the men found them stimulating and intellectually arousing.... Just ask.. be blunt in that situation. If they are with you.. then its a given factor they find you attractive and about you reciprocate.. and tell them.. I LIKE U... stop playing games.. mind games just mess you up.. Speak ur mind and be Blunt

--You like someone.. SAY IT.. dont wait around for them to make a move.. just say it.. i like you.. they willl either like you back.. or say im sorry == at least then you can move on and find another kindred spirit... ay ay ay people....

----- Life is what you make of it.... yyou work hard you will get rewarded ... always remain positive and happy..for someone is falling in love with your smile and your warmth... :)~ Teeee...enjoy life, stop stressssingggg!!! ------


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant . Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Who KILLED Creativity

Its one of my favorite words: Creativity.

One reason might be because Creativity has always been the underdog. It never finds itself in a favorable position very easily, and often, in its anarchic state, good ideas are hard to come by. It lacks several things that others take for granted as a consequence of its environment.

Creativity, if you happen to read this. This one is for you; Lets start it off with kindergarten shall we? There is your paint brush, your canvass, and your inspiring colours. Go ahead Creativity, release you inner strength and shine. That's when you did your best. That when you could do no wrong. Don't you remember how useful you were in Kindergarten? That's when everyone loved you. You were the A+ student for drawing the house and the sun with a smiley face, but starting in Grade 1 you were slowly moved to the back of the class to make way for other favoured skills.

  • Conformity
  • Standardization
  • Specialization
  • Rigidity
  • Restriction
They are what caught the eyes of Mr. Priority, your grade 1 teacher. Your skills became under-utilized and left to doodle with basic arts and crafts. You were left to play with the A-B-C blocks and a blank piece of paper with a box of crayons, while the rest of the class went on to memorize mathematics and science.

Only later in life, between your trips to art therapy with the psychiatric patients and your commute home were you remembered for the need to conjure up business plans that would never see anything else but a recycle bin, if not the waste bucket. It's a shame what happened to you.

Its sad to see you in your worst form. You lash out against everyone and manipulate the truth to influence public opinion about various topics. Your true untapped talents remains dormant. I know you better. Don't listen to your friend, Frustration, he's never a good friend to have. He's keeping you back. You need help.

One day when you happen to be taking your stroll through the night, wake up and find that inspiration that will bring the best in you. I know you'll do great things one day. You can do it!

Be sure to watch this great 20min inspirational talk by one of the worlds greatest thinkers Sir Ken Robinson

Its funny and entertaining, and guaranteed to make you go "LOL!"

Friday, October 19, 2007

Ramblings…Unhinged Perhaps…Entertaining Definitely!

I was sitting at my desk wondering…what can I possibly write to entertain and stimulate your mind. Then I realised, that’s a question I’ll never have an answer for. Let’s get to the chase; you’re reading this blog because you are a. bored or b. stimulated by the secret world behind the human psyche. In order for this blog to work, we must communicate. I will blog and you will comment. If you want me to elaborate on anything in particular just ask!

So who are you? I mean the real you? Have you ever wondered how many faces you actually show in a day? I mean think about it, it is all an act. How many of you can actually say you are 100% real?? -- Your boss sees a different facet, your family and friends see a different side, and even YOU see a different person. It is very rare to meet someone who truly knows who he/she really is and lets others marvel at their beauty. I know we all have insecurities and doubts, but we must be true to ourselves. How you may ask?? The answer is simple; learn to listen to your inner voice and let yourself feel. In reality, you must find peace and quiet in our hectic lives, because only then will you really listen to your psyche.

We all wear masks to hide something. Why is Halloween so popular in our culture? Because, it allows us to dress up and act without restriction or limitation and feel safe doing so. Psychology is all about stripping layers and learning to let go. You will only enjoy something when you can truly let it go. Try this tomorrow -- When you wake up, take note of the face you put on and try to use that face for every situation you encounter that day… you will see how simple it makes enjoying life and having fun. Focusing on what really matters, as opposed to what society wants to see.

Well this was entertaining, till tomorrow I bid you adieu!
Now enough wasting time, being lazy - go do something productive like reading!!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

1st POST!

So this is where I begin.

I didn't have to think long and hard for that first sentence. I might look back on it and think otherwise, but for now it seems like a good place to start. Why dawn on that first line? It's relatively important. Just google it as I did and you'll see all sorts of emotional ties with "first sentences"

Apparently some people feel really strongly about that first sentence. Have a look through this lengthy post:

I on the other hand don't see much importance in it, other than making a blog post about it :D (You can read into that last line as much as you want)

I'll stop here. So much for a first post, maybe next time I'll go into a bit more detail on my subject, but for now, not knowing how far of an audience I'll reach with this blog. This is a beginning, and that's all that matters.