Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dealing with Wanting What You Don't Have

"Mommy I want that! wah wah wahhhhh!"... It's hard for me to picture myself today using those exact words to demand something from my mom these days. Why? Because I found ways of achieving the same result faster and easier. I found it easier to skip the middle man, my mom, and buy straight from the supplier, which is the store selling stuff! But I don't like doing that either, because all I'm really doing is changing where my needs are acquired from; Instead of my mom, it's a store. How about I have someone to do it for me! I can call someone to take care of all the transactions and dirty work that I don't want to do, and I end up with only what I want...but no, that wouldn't work either because I am back to where I started from, except I have someone taking the role of my mom....hmmm better yet how about I just stop myself from wanting anything and free myself from the cost of my actions.

On second thought, I don't think that would be very sane of me...There must be a middle ground to all of this.

Wanting what you don't have can be understood in a variety of ways, and only in rightly understanding the root of the need can we decide on the best coarse of action. The countless actions one might take in making a decision can be simplified into two plain frameworks. The first is "to act" and the second, I'm sure you guess it by now, is "to not act".

The first framework "to act" can be expanded and understood as the effort made to acquire a need. During this action I would be cycling through a constant thought process to acquire and fulfill what I want, and then as what I want changes I repeat the cycle again. This cycle can become a problem if I let it become one, or it might not. For instance I might repetitively strive to reach a changing idea of perfection, or it could have a positive effect and I just might reach what I am really after and be truly happy.

Thoughts such as world domination come into mind or something like being the highest achiever in class, or how about what I want is some real dark chocolate instead of all the sugary stuff they pass around at Halloween. All of these things are things are what I want, and nothing is impossible...Not even real dark chocolate from Switzerland. What is important here is not what I want but the underlying need or motivation for all these wants, which is satisfaction.

On the other hand there is my second choice which is "to not act". The irony is that I would have to consciously make an effort to not act. In other words, I would have to restrain myself when I want something. I would have to become patient, and understanding and I would have to build a sense of contentment and humility. This can be very hard to do! Am I supposed to be happy with margarine when what I really want is butter? Or am I supposed to only be happy with dominating my immediate surrounding, instead of having the entire world in my hands?

What I believe to be is the correct answer to making a choice between "acting" and "not acting", first comes down to a difficult choice in correctly identifying what is right and what is wrong. Before I make this decision I should already know the consequences of my actions by asking myself how they affect me and others. This requires a great deal of foresight through a greater deal of knowledge, and unfortunately I don't have enough of either, nor will I ever posses the greatest of either. Since that is the reality of my dilemma I should also be prepared for my unseen errors and apologizing for them. Now that I understand that my choices result in unpredictable consequences, I should be thankful for what I have and move forward from here very carefully. This progress should lessen my emotions of greed or selfishness and that will stop me from the making the wrong choices as much as possible.

Easier said than done in the heat of the moment...I better practice.

Can anyone see how this can be applied to wanting someone?

Thanks for reading,

By the way I read all your comments, even if they are misspelled, and I am influenced by them to decide on what to post next, so keep them coming.

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