Meet a woman you like? Attracted to? Wonder how she feels? Is she interested? Flirtatious? Not interested? Disgusted?
DISCLAIMER: Not 100% true all the time, there will be times where these rules will not be fitting with the situation. Use your judgement wisely.
Your body speaks a language on its own. Without realizing the way you sit, how you place or move your fingers/hands, legs, and posture reveal volumes about you. More specifically, what you are feeling, thinking, and if you are aroused/interested in external stimuli (in this case men!) Most are not aware or attuned with how their body moves and what signal it omits to others. You want to be completely in control, aware of the movement and message you are sending, because men are quite quick on interpreting a woman’s body language. You must remember it only takes 30 seconds to read body language. One secret of body language is manipulating your body to give or hide signals you don’t want others to read. IE. Which messages you want ‘him’ to read and receive, giving you the upper hand and control. (Something we women love!)
This blog is about the signs women give off subconsciously without being aware their body is speaking volumes about their interest and sexual desire/intention.
Ever been to a bar, seen a hot girl, wondered – Is she flirting??
Women almost always give physical tips about their level of interest in men. You all know the most common body language gestures: Twirling hair, tossing hair and leg crossing, but I will discuss a few others.
Let’s begin with twirling hair. It is flirty, cute and depending on the eyes seductive, but it can also suggest nervousness. A lot of girls have long hair, it is very sensual and sexually appealing for men, because men don’t have long hair…AND it is a tease = covering the nape or breasts. Nevertheless, short hair is perceived as confident, strong, dominate and powerful! Now, let’s talk about colors!!! Different colors give off different vibes. I.e. red heads are perceived as fire-y, passionate, sexual. Brunettes are taken more seriously and seen as classy. Blondes, well we all know the answer to that… Blondes have more FUN: D
Hair tossing is another form toying, but it can mean she is nervous (fumbling with her fingers, to keep herself from looking nervous…) or she’s preening herself – drawing attention “LOOK AT MEE!!! – In a subtle way of course (i.e. showing of her sexy mane or a long sleek neck). Now, let’s move on to one of my favourite – Leg Crossing.
Ladies unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they are anxious, nervous or stimulated. When females do this, it means the person they are talking to gets their attention good or bad you will see later on. Leg crossing can be a nervous or a provocative gesture. It is a dead giveaway to the guy that she is deliberately trying to get his focus on her legs. This gives him enough power to take control, have the upper hand. But it can also turn him on so ultimately, taking away his power.
There are many styles to crossing legs.
- ankle cross
- knee cross
- figure four (ankle on opposite knee = mostly males do this)
- wrap around (whether using a chair leg, a shoe)
If you are on her left and she is sitting beside you, she will cross her right leg over – turning her body towards you, drawing attention to you.
If she is sitting in front of you, she will cross her legs directly forward with her toe pointed outward.
If she is sitting with her legs crossed around her ankles, she is being shy, yet conservative, meaning you have not yet grabbed her attention, she might be interested but isn’t stimulated.
If she is sitting with her legs apart, she is inviting you in (sexually she wants you)
If she is touching her legs, or her thighs she is trying to draw your attention those areas, because eyes will always follow movement.
If she has her legs crossed and her hands holding on to her legs... BEWARE she is warning you not to proceed. She is guarding her body (evidently her space)
IMPORTANT: Take note on where the toe is pointing, and how the shoe is sitting on the foot.
If she is facing you and she crosses her legs tow pointing towards you, that’s a good inclination she is interested in you.
If her shoe is coming off, or she is bouncing it, it’s a good indication she is aroused and sexually attracted to you.
If she is looking at you but her foot is pointing in a different direction, chances are you are not the target of her desire or interested.
If she is looking at you, her shoe is bouncing but her arms are crossed, or on her knees she is aggravated, frustrated, or just plain not interested... CAUTION... back off.
** A big key point ** whether you are a man or woman – the direction your foot is pointing always gives away who you are really interested in. So if you are talking to a bunch of girls and your face and posture is leaning to one girl but your feet to another, chances are you aren’t that interested in the one you are talking to.
Eyes are the # 1 contact two people connect through. Eyes already convey messages to others, messages ranging from curiosity to desire and fascination. I.e. When you interlock eyes, it gives off the meaning... YOU out of everyone in the room got my attention. YOU are the most fascinating person in this room. But it can also be too bold of a move. I.e. Some females might not like the frontal (facing you) bold eye contact, creates intimidation. Men might not like the too forward behaviour either – but that’s how you know they aren’t the right target for you.
There are different gazes females do.
- stare look away and stare again --- I’m interested come pursue me
- stare straight and directly without budging --- I’m bold and confident and I want you
- stare and look away --- I’m not interested in you
CHECKING out guys
- If she connects with your eyes (gaze) then looks at your feet slowly seductively moving up focusing on they hips, sex organs and again moving up to your head and back down to your eyes.. you can be sure she’s definitely interested in you – sexually or otherwise.
- If she connects with your gaze (eyes) and then looks up to your hair FIRST then slowly moving down to your feet, she’s not really impressed.
- If she looks at your eyes, then your lips – very simple - she wants to kiss you!
ARMS When a woman crosses her arms over her chest, it can telegraph the message that she's vulnerable and sensitive or even annoyed/frustrated. Furthermore, based on her facial structure she may like her privacy, space or she isn’t very confident, as she might like to come across. Much like legs, arm crossing shouts IM NOT INTERESTED to a guy. However, crossing arms also draws attention to breasts; it’s sexual and primitive, a gesture of sexual anticipation. Breasts – sex – men.
Now let’s discuss leaning - this ties into your posture and how a female leans towards a male. I.e. leaning across forward toward you (fellas), weather you are sitting or standing, shows interest and acceptance. CAUTION: Lean too much and it gives away too much information. Same with leaning away, it tells him you find him repulsive, so much so that you don’t want to be near him. NEVERTHELESS, on an odd occasion leaning away can mean SHE is SOO attracted to you that she has to turn away.
When we are aroused (males and females) we get excited and our lips and mouth get dry. That’s why we lick our lips. SO MEN take notice lip licking is a PLUS. It conveys the message very clearly, very sexy and overtly. It is a slow, sultry swipe along the tips of the lips with the tip of the tongue. Another example of this is when females put on lipstick, lip gloss or lick a Popsicle. This is also perceived as “lets go have sex” because of the suggested tongue - lick action. SO females use this with caution to not convey the wrong message.
------------- SEXUAL AROUSAL AT ITS PEAK is flared nostrils. Doesn’t matter male or female if the person’s nostrils are flaring it means he/she has the hots for you.
The problem with body language is, even though you might learn these key factors, you might get to caught up in it that you forget to enjoy the moment and be yourself. You see body language is a huge part of communication but so is dressing and the color chosen. The way you move or walk, all has big implication of how your body language is perceived.
Stay tuned for
----------- PART II DOES HE REALLY LIKE ME?? Male body language
----------- PART III Dating Body Langauge