Signs of Body language: EYES

What do eyes convey about you?? Hidden secrets? Embarassement?? Desire? Jealousy??

Most of our interaction is done using eye contact. We spend much of our face to face time looking at the other person's face, so eye signals are a vital part of being able to read someone's thoughts and attitudes. It's common knowledge when people meet for the first time they make a series of quick judgements about each other, based solely on perception. IE. comments like, "She has inviting eyes," "She has eyes to kill," "He gave me the evil eye," "He has big baby eyes" ... furthermore, we will speculate saying a person has Spanish eyes, bedroom eyes, hard or angry eyes, sad or piercing eyes, sparkling shiny eyes etc. Using these phrases we are actually referring to the size of the person's pupils and gazing behaviour. They are the most revealing and accurate of all human communication signals because of their independent conscious control.

MOOD and LIGHT will dilate or contract as will attitude and mood. IE. when someone is excited their pupils will dilate up to 4 times the size. Conversely, angry or negative moods contract the pupils -- beady eyes or snake eyes. Light eyes are more attractive because you can see the dilation. Studies indicate heterosexual men and women dilate their pupils when viewing pinups of the opposite sex and constrict when viewing same sex. Similar results were found when looking at food, political figures, children and music.

Research done indicated pupil size are positively correlated with mental activity and problem solving. In the business world, people rated models in photographs as more attractive if the photo was altered to show bigger pupils, hence increasing the sale of their product.

In COURTSHIP
Eyes are key signals in courtship. Women use eye makeup to emphasize their display. If a lady is attracted to a man she will dilate her pupils at him and he unconsciouly will respond and decode the sigal. Hence why romantic encounters are in dimly lit places for the simple reason pupils dilate automatically. (( giving the impression that couples are interested.

A lover's gaze is deep and searching for the dilation signal. Mens pupils dilate the most when lookin at erotic or pornographic images. Women's dilate when looking at babies and children. Thats what the bestselling childrens toys have oversized pupils.
I always say look at someones eyes when you converse with them, in essence i an referring to their pupils, because only there will you see the true emotions.

Humans are the only primates that have white around their eyes(sclera). Sclera evolved because it aided us in communication (where we are looking when conversing). Have you ever walked into a room and did an eyebrow flash at someone, gesturing a "hello?". The eyebrow flash is universal and used by monkeys, and apes in greeting. In saying so, culture plays a part because in Japan to greet someone with an eyebrow flash has definite sexual connotations. Moreover, we only eyebrow flash people we know. Test the theory out. Sit in a lobby and eyebrow flash everyone that walks past, note how many flash back and smile or come up to you and converse.

Widening Eyes
Lowering eyebrows is how we humans show dominance or aggression. Ladies widen their eyes by raising their eyebrows and eyelids giving the appearance of a "baby face". This has a powerful effect on men, releasing hormones which stimulate desire. Women pluck and redraw their eyebrows to appear more submissive because of the subconscious effects it has on men. Men alternatively trim their eyebrows from the top down, to make their eyes appear narrower and more authoritative. Lowering the head and looking up is another submissive gesture targeted to appear to men.

SEDUCTION:
Time and time again women lower their eyes while stimultaneously raise their eyebrows, look u and part their lips. This is the classic look of seduction and lust. It gives the meaning of sexual submission. Just look at pictures of Marilym Monroe and Sharon Stone. Physically this gesture maximizes the distance between the eyelid and eye brows but gives the person a mysterious secretive look something i personally call being "cheeky" ;). In 90% of cases this is the look women have on their faces immediaetly before having an orgasm. *ironic eh?*

GAZING Men:
When a woman wants to get a man's attention across a room she will meet his gaze, hold it for 2 seconds the look away and down. She then repeats this step 2 to 3 times before the man picks up the signal. When he finally meets her gaze, she will do a small eyebrow flash, subtle eye widening that indicates yes "IM INTERESTED". Women also use the sideways glance combined with raised eye brows or a smile, it communicaes interest. BUT a word of caution clustered down turned eyebrows, furrowed brows all indicate a suspicious, hostile or critical e

Different Gazes:
Most liars look you in the eyes and lie but stimultaneously will blink much more than the average (which is 6-8 blinks per minute.)

Monkeys, Apes and humans dart their eyes side to side to look for escapes. ie revealing insecurity, boredem.

#1 SOCIAL GAZE
- the eyes look in the triangular area on the other person's face btw the eyes and mouth for 90 percent of the time and you are perceived as nonaggressive.

#2 INTIMATE GAZE
- the eyes look between the person's face and lower body and then a second time to determine the interest. The gaze is across the eyes and below the chin to lower parts and back up. For lack of better description is between the eyes and chest. Men have tunel vision while females have wider peripheral vision. Thus men get caught more so in the act than females -- hence why we always accuse men of staring at our chests.

#3 POWER GAZE
- When you gaze beween the eyes *where they would have a 3rd eye* This is a very powerful gaze, and if you dont drop the gaze the seriousness and pressure intensify. NEVER use this on friends or intimates.

#4 POWER STARE
- gives you more authority. narrow your eyelids and focus closely on the person. Very still and steady. Picture a tiger attacking a bore.

NOw practice the different stares and you will notice the effects it has on the target!

Stay tuned for more detailed body language tips and techniques...!

BODY LANGUAGE OF A WOMAN - the tale tale signs that she's interested in YOU!!

Meet a woman you like? Attracted to? Wonder how she feels? Is she interested? Flirtatious? Not interested? Disgusted?

DISCLAIMER: Not 100% true all the time, there will be times where these rules will not be fitting with the situation. Use your judgement wisely.

Your body speaks a language on its own. Without realizing the way you sit, how you place or move your fingers/hands, legs, and posture reveal volumes about you. More specifically, what you are feeling, thinking, and if you are aroused/interested in external stimuli (in this case men!) Most are not aware or attuned with how their body moves and what signal it omits to others. You want to be completely in control, aware of the movement and message you are sending, because men are quite quick on interpreting a woman’s body language. You must remember it only takes 30 seconds to read body language. One secret of body language is manipulating your body to give or hide signals you don’t want others to read. IE. Which messages you want ‘him’ to read and receive, giving you the upper hand and control. (Something we women love!)

This blog is about the signs women give off subconsciously without being aware their body is speaking volumes about their interest and sexual desire/intention.


Ever been to a bar, seen a hot girl, wondered – Is she flirting??
Women almost always give physical tips about their level of interest in men. You all know the most common body language gestures: Twirling hair, tossing hair and leg crossing, but I will discuss a few others.


HAIR
Let’s begin with twirling hair. It is flirty, cute and depending on the eyes seductive, but it can also suggest nervousness. A lot of girls have long hair, it is very sensual and sexually appealing for men, because men don’t have long hair…AND it is a tease = covering the nape or breasts. Nevertheless, short hair is perceived as confident, strong, dominate and powerful! Now, let’s talk about colors!!! Different colors give off different vibes. I.e. red heads are perceived as fire-y, passionate, sexual. Brunettes are taken more seriously and seen as classy. Blondes, well we all know the answer to that… Blondes have more FUN: D
Hair tossing is another form toying, but it can mean she is nervous (fumbling with her fingers, to keep herself from looking nervous…) or she’s preening herself – drawing attention “LOOK AT MEE!!! – In a subtle way of course (i.e. showing of her sexy mane or a long sleek neck). Now, let’s move on to one of my favourite – Leg Crossing.


LEG CROSSING:
Ladies unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they are anxious, nervous or stimulated. When females do this, it means the person they are talking to gets their attention good or bad you will see later on. Leg crossing can be a nervous or a provocative gesture. It is a dead giveaway to the guy that she is deliberately trying to get his focus on her legs. This gives him enough power to take control, have the upper hand. But it can also turn him on so ultimately, taking away his power.
There are many styles to crossing legs.
- ankle cross
- knee cross
- figure four (ankle on opposite knee = mostly males do this)
- wrap around (whether using a chair leg, a shoe)

If you are on her left and she is sitting beside you, she will cross her right leg over – turning her body towards you, drawing attention to you.
If she is sitting in front of you, she will cross her legs directly forward with her toe pointed outward.
If she is sitting with her legs crossed around her ankles, she is being shy, yet conservative, meaning you have not yet grabbed her attention, she might be interested but isn’t stimulated.
If she is sitting with her legs apart, she is inviting you in (sexually she wants you)
If she is touching her legs, or her thighs she is trying to draw your attention those areas, because eyes will always follow movement.
If she has her legs crossed and her hands holding on to her legs... BEWARE she is warning you not to proceed. She is guarding her body (evidently her space)

IMPORTANT: Take note on where the toe is pointing, and how the shoe is sitting on the foot.
If she is facing you and she crosses her legs tow pointing towards you, that’s a good inclination she is interested in you.
If her shoe is coming off, or she is bouncing it, it’s a good indication she is aroused and sexually attracted to you.
If she is looking at you but her foot is pointing in a different direction, chances are you are not the target of her desire or interested.
If she is looking at you, her shoe is bouncing but her arms are crossed, or on her knees she is aggravated, frustrated, or just plain not interested... CAUTION... back off.

** A big key point ** whether you are a man or woman – the direction your foot is pointing always gives away who you are really interested in. So if you are talking to a bunch of girls and your face and posture is leaning to one girl but your feet to another, chances are you aren’t that interested in the one you are talking to.


EYES
Eyes are the # 1 contact two people connect through. Eyes already convey messages to others, messages ranging from curiosity to desire and fascination. I.e. When you interlock eyes, it gives off the meaning... YOU out of everyone in the room got my attention. YOU are the most fascinating person in this room. But it can also be too bold of a move. I.e. Some females might not like the frontal (facing you) bold eye contact, creates intimidation. Men might not like the too forward behaviour either – but that’s how you know they aren’t the right target for you.
There are different gazes females do.
- stare look away and stare again --- I’m interested come pursue me
- stare straight and directly without budging --- I’m bold and confident and I want you
- stare and look away --- I’m not interested in you

CHECKING out guys
- If she connects with your eyes (gaze) then looks at your feet slowly seductively moving up focusing on they hips, sex organs and again moving up to your head and back down to your eyes.. you can be sure she’s definitely interested in you – sexually or otherwise.
- If she connects with your gaze (eyes) and then looks up to your hair FIRST then slowly moving down to your feet, she’s not really impressed.
- If she looks at your eyes, then your lips – very simple - she wants to kiss you!


ARMS When a woman crosses her arms over her chest, it can telegraph the message that she's vulnerable and sensitive or even annoyed/frustrated. Furthermore, based on her facial structure she may like her privacy, space or she isn’t very confident, as she might like to come across. Much like legs, arm crossing shouts IM NOT INTERESTED to a guy. However, crossing arms also draws attention to breasts; it’s sexual and primitive, a gesture of sexual anticipation. Breasts – sex – men.
Now let’s discuss leaning - this ties into your posture and how a female leans towards a male. I.e. leaning across forward toward you (fellas), weather you are sitting or standing, shows interest and acceptance. CAUTION: Lean too much and it gives away too much information. Same with leaning away, it tells him you find him repulsive, so much so that you don’t want to be near him. NEVERTHELESS, on an odd occasion leaning away can mean SHE is SOO attracted to you that she has to turn away.


LIPS
When we are aroused (males and females) we get excited and our lips and mouth get dry. That’s why we lick our lips. SO MEN take notice lip licking is a PLUS. It conveys the message very clearly, very sexy and overtly. It is a slow, sultry swipe along the tips of the lips with the tip of the tongue. Another example of this is when females put on lipstick, lip gloss or lick a Popsicle. This is also perceived as “lets go have sex” because of the suggested tongue - lick action. SO females use this with caution to not convey the wrong message.


NOSE
------------- SEXUAL AROUSAL AT ITS PEAK is flared nostrils. Doesn’t matter male or female if the person’s nostrils are flaring it means he/she has the hots for you.

The problem with body language is, even though you might learn these key factors, you might get to caught up in it that you forget to enjoy the moment and be yourself. You see body language is a huge part of communication but so is dressing and the color chosen. The way you move or walk, all has big implication of how your body language is perceived.

Stay tuned for

----------- PART II DOES HE REALLY LIKE ME?? Male body language
----------- PART III Dating Body Langauge

Take Care,
Dr Yorkette